We’re getting married in Scotland, where we live. Planning this wedding has really brought out our contradictory personalities. Let’s just say, Dave is way more traditional and I’m way more modern than we originally thought. Like major. We agree on the majority of things in our normal lives but we hardly agree on the wedding stuff. It’s been an exercise in persuasion, compromise and diplomacy (I think all very good ingredients in marriage/relationships/friendships) and I think we’re handling it well. Over the next little while, I’ll get into the debates we got into leading up to our “big day”.
The venue: We were living in Nottingham when we got engaged and had many discussions about where to have this shindig. Since all my family are in North America and Ghana and all of Dave’s family are in Scotland, we were thinking of a having it somewhere where EVERYONE had to travel. Mexico was the contender for a few weeks and that idea kinda crumbled. Upon reflection, we realized that we wanted to be somewhere Mexico just wasn’t right for us, though it would have been kick ass. We weren’t a hundred per cent sure where we would be living in a few months time, but Scotland seemed like the right choice. Montreal was a contender for sure, but I knew that my wedding would have turned into a 3 ring circus and I wasn’t about that AT ALL. So we made a decision and were happy with it. In relation to where we actually going to be married, I did a lot of armchair research (thank goodness for the interweb) and ordered packs upon packs of promotional material from wedding venues (don’t worry, everything not used got recycled). I wasn’t working at the time so I threw myself into this and we finally came up with 4 viable options. We made a list of pros and cons for each one then decided on one to view. That’s right – we made an appointment to view one wedding venue. We booked our flights to Scotland and went to visit the Balbirnie House Hotel.
Now, we had Dave’s parents visit the hotel prior to us getting there and they took loads of snaps. They loved it and while I trust them, the pics didn’t really compel me. It looked quite British and traditional which worried me, but Dave was salivating. I held back any type of expectation or judgment and fell in love with the Balbirnie. Good times, good times. We’ll be getting married on the premises and the house is so far removed from anything I’ve ever experienced (the house is older than my freaking country!). I think what I love the most is the space. There are several rooms for people to just chill in and since I now consider Scotland my home, and I’ve been searching for a place to call home for so long, I wanted people to feel like they were home. There are couches and lounges everywhere and I just feel so relaxed when I walk around. I hope our guests will feel that way too.
But the path to this decision was fraught with a lot of back and forth about what each of us wanted. I wanted something cool, hip and unusual, and he wanted traditional, comfortable and quotidien. This could have been a disaster, but luckily it worked out for us. Unfotunately, this isn't the case for a dozen other decisions that we've had to make so far. Stay tuned for more tales of (cue scary music) wedding planning!