Sunday, 5 September 2010

Navel gazing

Hi y'all.  I've been a bit quiet for some time now, not because anything has been wrong (well, more wrong than usual), but because I've been looking inward.  I've had some brilliant days where I've felt powerful and strong and I have had dark days where I've just broken down.  I've been kayaking, climbed an extinct volcano, found strength through the support of a befriender and support group and have made the plans that are sustaining me.  I have been thinking about the future and harvesting hope.  I've been grieving for our little girl and the future we dreamed of.  I'm learning a lot.

I haven't felt like writing much lately just because I couldn't find the right words.  I write in my notebook when the feeling hits and it's like a release.  I sit down and cry when the feeling hits and it's like a release.  I close my eyes and daydream when the feeling hits and it's like a release.  I'm growing a lot.

I'll be back soon.  I promise.


  1. We all patiently and eagerly await your return. :)

  2. Well Done Kaki, I am so proud of you! God Bless!

  3. One step at a time eh? Or maybe one stroke at a time. Nice kayak pic. :)

  4. Thinking of you and sending love. x

  5. It sounds like you've been doing amazing things, and I know Isla is right there with you. It hurts to enjoy life without our babies. It really does. I hope to visit your blog again soon and see some stories and pictures of everything you've been up to!

  6. I wanted to thank you so much for your comment on my Four Years... post. It really meant a lot to me.

    I was so incredibly sorry to hear about Isla and my heart aches for you. When I read your comment and realised that I hadn't known you were pregnant, let alone that you had lost your baby, I sat and cried.

    I looked for an email address to send you a more personal email but really, in essence, that's all I had to say - thank you and I'm sorry.