Monday, 16 November 2009

Wife. Life.

There has been a lot of (sometimes heated) talk about what being a wife is and what the word has meant in history and what it means now. I've liked the dialogue that has taken place here and here . I find that it’s such a personal thing, but I’ll share what it means to me. It means commitment, love, support and companionship. My reality of wife encompasses rubbing Tiger Balm on Dave’s chest before bedtime when he’s ill and listening to his problems when he’s steaming. It’s striving to keep our priorities aligned and going the extra distance for him to make his life happier and more grounded. It’s a promise of always holding his hand and chatting in our bed about our dreams for the future right before sleep takes us.

For a long time, I thought I would never be a wife, and for the most part, I was OK was that. In my mind, I always knew life’s labels are not what makes you you and me me. But when I became his wife and more profoundly, his life, it was an identity I fell in love with.

I’m one of those people who deeply believes that marriage does change things and that a marriage certificate is more than just a piece of paper. Sure, you can be committed without all the legal work and ceremony and that’s beautiful. But for myself, a girl that loves security and nailing things down, my marriage has made my love for my husband bottomless and I feel it even more so now than before in my body and in my mind. I sometimes look at him in profile and feel an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude, and while those feelings are sometimes replaced with disbelief and annoyance, I know he’s mine for forever + a day. It’s good and it’s mine. For me, that’s what it is to be a wife.