Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Letting go

“When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter in 5 years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go.” Catherine Pulsifer*

For the past few days, I have been thinking about the past and the future.  I'm starting to think in order to give myself and my future a fair shot, I have to let go of a few things that have been mainstays in my past.  I downloaded a motivation visualization track from Amazon in an effort to focus my sometimes hyperactive mind and I must say, it got me pretty excited.  The intro mentions the idea of letting things/ideas/people go in order to receive new and better things/ideas/people and I'm all about that!  So in an effort to practice this law of the universe by putting it back into the universe, here is what I'll be working on in 2011:

  1. Letting go of people who talk the talk, but unfortunately, can't walk the walk.  This is a major thing for me.  I expect a lot from myself, and consequently, I have high expectations of others, particularly those who are close to me.  I am very fortunate that the people I gravitate towards are selfless, generous and kind and while I can get disappointed when my normally accurate instincts are fooled, I usually pick good people to share my life.  I hope by letting go of those who do too much taking and not enough giving, I will invite those who want the services of a good friend (moi).
  2. Letting go trying to always make other people feel comfortable.  This one has been getting easier and easier.  Having lost Isla nearly 8 months ago, I've learned that a lot of people get freaked out by grief.  Well, that's their goddamn problem.  If I feel like mentioning the fact that my baby died within context, because, thus far, it has been the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, I'm going to do it.  If people can't stomach it, it's not my problem.  I hope that this will help me accept what has happened to us and learn how to live with it gracefully.
  3. Letting go of societal pressures and aspirational ideas.  By now, it should be bloody obvious that I march to the beat of my own drummer.  I haven't settled into the mould that society says I should, so why do I still feel bad about it?!?!  As much as I would love to be a homeowner, I am moving to the second most expensive city in Canada where even the average down payment won't buy you a heck of a lot.  So for now, I'm just going to forgot about it.  My priority is to rent a decent, clean, bright flat in a nice neighourhood very close to the heart of the city.  I'm a city girl; I might as well live as close to it as I can.
  4. Letting go of the purse strings.  Dave and I have saved a lot of money over the last few years and we've sacrificed a lot for it.  Now that we'll soon be starting over in a new city, I think it's high time to spend some bucks.  We're going to have to buy furniture, a car, brand new wardrobes, loads of bits of pieces, and we're taking a vacation FOR FUCK'S SAKE, so it's time to relax some of that unrelenting self-control I've been brandishing and spend for a while.  I will always save as that's my personality, but if I want to get something pretty and useless from Anthropologie, then so be it.
  5. Letting go of complacency.  This can be in all areas of my life: my personal grooming, exploring new places, trying new things, and even just taking more pictures.  I need to stop being lazy in order to make the most of my life every day, even if the most I can manage is stopping at the florist and buying a pretty bouquet of flowers for my home.
I really believe in the power of positive thinking.  I haven't slept well since early 2009 and I know that bad sleep can shorten your life.  I am a stress consumer and it radiates through my body and manifests itself physically.  I am hoping that by letting go, practicing positive thinking, exercising, eating well and playing well, I will blossom into this new person I've changed into.  Cross your fingers for me.

* Image and text was taken from here.

    1 comment:

    1. So I've been following your blog ever since you wrote about your struggles with faith (http://wifebridelife.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-i-dont-believe-in-god-anymore.html#comments). I stumbled across it looking for like-minded souls; those who have suffered hardship and are stronger and better for it, but different, and the beliefs we had just don't satisfy anymore.
      I love this post; I love you and that you are out there in the world sharing your life with us, even when it hurts like hell to be so vulnerable. Thanks!
      PS. Funny coincidence: I am from Alabama; I grew up in the same city featured in the "Bed Intruder Song" Hahaha