Thursday, 15 September 2011

People in my neighbourhood

I love my hood. It's tree lined, has lots of old (and expensive) houses and young families, and is, for the most part, quiet. I especially love the fact that most people will smile and say hello. This morning I caught a preteen girl glancing at me and when we locked eyes, she smiled brightly and I smiled back. When she looked away, I continued to assess her and noticed two things: 1) she had a Blackberry and 2) there was a Coach backpack at her feet (I didn't even know Coach made backpacks!). It made me smile. These are the people in my neighborhood.

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  1. Hello! I found your blog by "accident" searching for the phrase "I don't believe in God anymore." I'm 55 and I'm just now coming to the same conclusion you reached when you realized that "we're all just animals." Perusing through your blog and reading of your loss, your struggles, grief and depression -- similar in many ways with my own life. From religion to metaphysics, New Age to just being spiritual and now...getting used to the idea that this is it and there is no god but us. This past week I hung a piece of art on my wall -- something I created back in 1988 when I lost a baby at 17 weeks in utero. The "art" is just construction paper, saran wrap and glue, but it depicts a dream I had that gave me so much comfort after the baby's death. I'm not even sure why I'm telling you this, but I just felt so compelled to write to you. We may just be animals, but we can share special connections. I just want to affirm what you know and are doing: honor your little Isla in special ways, give yourself permission to grieve in small doses and be kind to yourself:)

  2. I, like Trishia above, came across your blog listed on Bing when I typed in "Why would anyone want to believe in a God that kills, destroys and hurts people to get his point across?" Your loss is something I would consider on a list of maybe two as one of the worst things a person would have to deal with. My husband is currently seeking a certain churches doctrines that are taking everything I've ever known, or brought me happiness, and turing it upside down or downright forbidding it. I consider this the biggest question of my life right now. I feel anger at him and hate him sometimes especially when he expects me to wait on him "because I love him and should respect him because he is head of the house". There is truth to fault on me that I really should give more to him than I do, but I have also seen his Dad walk right past the kitchen to sit down and then immediately ask for something from the kitchen. But then I read your post that seems to tell me that you and Dave are getting closer and leaning on each other. This helped me realize that I need to show more love to my husband while I have him. I just know that in my life, if I would have chosen NOT to believe in God, that I would have made other decisions in my life that would not have landed me here, with a husband, two boys and two dogs and a house and all of the things I dreamed of one day having. I had to wait 11 years for these dreams living on my own and 35+ years before then. Now, my only problem is, I have to make new dreams!(Some problem, huh?). I also did't know that when you do have children, the fear of losing them NEVER goes's like you are always "on" and can never really relax-EVER.
    I hope one day you have a child/children. It is the hardest, most wonderful job you'll ever have. You sound like you would make great parents. I have a feeling that young lady with the Blackberry and Coach backpack saw something in your eyes or face that reflects the pain and torture you are enduring-and she, like me, regardless of the difference in our beliefs, just might be praying for you and Dave-will it help? I don't know, there's so much about life I don't understand...
    But I'm putting some out there anyway...