Well, hello there...

Whoa...it has been a minute, hasn't it?  I'm sure all 5 of you have been waiting with baited breath to see what I've been up to...NOT.  I'm not sure where the last 4 months have gone...oh yes, now I remember.  Shortly after my last post, I learned that a co-worker was quitting to move to Alberta and that I would be covering her job (in addition to my own).  And then I started school again (after a 10 year absence, though on a part-time basis).  And then I learned I had something funny in my jaw and got a referral to an oral surgeon.  That funny thing turned out to be a benign tumor, but one that threatened to destroy my teeth and jaw, so it had to go.  And that made me really, really, really depressed.  And anxious.  And then we went to Montreal for Christmas and New Year's.  And then I returned to Toronto and had my surgery.  And that's where we are today.  I'm recuperating at home, having been put under and had my jaw opened by a roster of talented surgeons (I got really lucky with my team).  I am still partially frozen though, due to some nerve interference and I can feel my stitches like train tracks in half of my lower jaw.  The good news is that my surgeon believes he got it all out and that he was able to save my molars (had I lost them, I would have had to have a bone graft from my hip.  Erm, no thanks.), and Dave has been sleeping better because of it.  Who knew stress and anxiety about your wife's jaw and face could make a man lose so much sleep!

So now it's a new year (and I wish a happy new year to all you) and I plan on being more regular with this blog.  I had thought about blogging several times but let other things take too much of my time, namely work, but I promise not to do that anymore.  It was affecting my health (12 hour days - what am I? A nurse?) and the quality of my relationship so I promised David and myself that I will work no later than 6pm with the caveat of staying no more than two hours immediately before and after a vacation (which we are planning for February).  I like blogging.  I have always expressed myself best through written words, and I want to share my life.  There are so many things people don't talk to because they are embarrassed or feel like they are alone.  I've learned that we all hurt and we're only connected when we are vulnerable with it.  What's the point of suffering in silence or pretending that everything is ok?  I hope I can reach people with my words.  And the very least, it's a platform that forces me to be honest, which I intend to be, with you and with myself.  That's the only thing that feels right to me these days.  We are still here, still living, still grieving, but also, laughing, smiling and loving each other and our Isla.